The Akatsuki Collection
by Woodland123
Summary: When we look back at the Akatsuki we think about who they are, so who better to tell there stories than themselves. Now we have a collection of interviews with all those Akatsuki members we love. All rights to Masashi Kishimoto.
1. Konan

_**I thought of this all of a sudden and I thought I would see how well it goes, it's all about the Akatsuki and they are all getting interview and who knows what secrets we will learn…**_

Akatsuki Collection – Konan

"So here we have Konan of the Akatsuki!" Applause in the background.

"Oh thank you, please, thank you!" A bra gets flung from the audience and lands on Konan's lap "Oh a bra, I'll keep this one for later." Konan winks "Oooooh!" Shouts the audience.

"Now, now guys save some for me! So Konan what do you do on a day to day basis at the Akatsuki?"

"Well Jeremy first I get up, I go shower, I then go into Sassori's room and hide parts of his body round the hide out you know, like sometimes I'll put an arm or a leg in the fridge, or ill put his head next to Deidara and when he wakes up… Well every time I do it I think he dies a little inside!"

"Ha Konan you ball of fun! But there must be other things you do like cook and clean?"

"Hell no! If someone wants food they make it themselves and I don't clean up after the Akatsuki, I have something much more important… Make up! You see I have to paint all the Akatsuki members nails every day, I mean you just look at those nails they don't get that fine themselves, it takes a woman to get them that good." Konan smiles seductively at Jeremy and then the audience.

"Well Konan do you think you could paint my nails?"

"Well of course, what colour? Oh I have fifty shades of grey!"

"Konan I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff?" The audience giggle.

"Well of course, girl gotta keep herself entertained!"

"Ha Konan you… Any way I really do love your nail and I love you're…"

"Shaved pussy? You aint never getting snowball." Konan picks up a white cat.

"Swell Konan… just swell. So how did you first get into the Akatsuki?"

"Well Pain said to me `Konan you're the best, you just are so amazing… And… And dat ass! Damn girl!"

"Konan is that really what happened? Dat ass?"

"Yes Jeremy that is what happened, I really do have dat ass, I really do."

"Konan if only everyone was like you, the world would be a better place. But really who is the real Konan?"

"Well im the conflicted female Akatsuki member, my parents died when I was young, I then met two boys, Yahiko and Nagato, we live together while Jiraiya our sensei taught us and looked after us, but Yahiko formed the Akatsuki this led to his death by the hands of Hanzo the Salamander, now we work to chase and pursue peace to make it better for everyone." The crowd awe.

"Wow Konan that really is quite a harsh story, but you are okay now aren't you?"

"Yes Jeremy, with Nagato looking after us and the Akatsuki, I really think it's getting better."

"Konan that really is heart-warming, let's hear it for Konan!" The audience applauds.

"Konan it seems like we have learned a lot about you today but one more thing, where did you get that piercing? It's very pretty."

"Oh Jeremy you will love this. Yahiko gave it to me a few days before he died, at first I didn't want it, but then he died so put it in respect for him, I also got some sexy belly button piercings!"

"Konan that's amazing! I love sexy belly button Piercings, I have five LOL!" The audience remains silent "Well then…"

"Don't worry Jeremy I laughed."

"My new favourite person everybody! Konan!" The audience applaud. "Well that's it for today, I hope you enjoyed being here Konan and I know the audience enjoyed seeing you!"

"I did Jeremy, bye everyone!" She smiles as the audience applaud and she walks of.

"Join us next week were will see Pain!" The audience applaud one last time.


	2. Pain

_**I hope you all liked my Konan interview, if you have any ideas for the other Akatsuki members then tell me in a review because I'd like to make them good. Also could you tell me if you know whose talking most the time I don't want it to be confusing, enjoy Pains interview…**_

The Akatsuki Collection – Pain

"Here we have Pain the leader of the Akatsuki, let's hear it!" The audience applaud as he walks on the stage and sits next to Jeremy.

"Hey there Jeremy, good to meet you."

"It's good to meet you to, so what's it like being in charge of the whole Akatsuki?"

"Well I assume it's like being Jesus, only without the beard and the sandals… Sort of."

"Well I'm glad you think you're like Jes…"

"WOO JESUS!" Shouts an audience member.

"That's what I like to hear! Any way moving away from Jesus, what do you do on a day to day basis?"

"Well I have to get up, then I do my morning exercises, which usually involves me lunging at Konan because you have to stretch the groin area it's very important to get air flow down there. But that's no it! I also feed snowball, Konan's shaved pussy."

"Ah we all remember Konan's shaved pussy don't we?" The audience shout yeah "See we don't forget. Ever."

"Glad to hear it Jeremy."

"Well what do you think of the other members? What do you all do together?"

"The whole gang is definitely original; we often have parties and fancy dress. Last time we had fancy dress I went as a smurf because smurfs are beautiful, there just…" Pain begins to tear up "I'm sorry, there just so…"

"That's okay Pain we all feel the same." Jeremy looks at the audience and shakes his head.

"I'm okay now, I'm okay."

"Good, so what did the other members dress as?"

"Well Itachi and Kisame went as Scooby and Shaggy, Tobi went as..." Pain sighs "Naruto… Deidara and Sasori went as Mario and Luigi, Kakazu went as Wonder Woman and Hidan went as Superman and Zetsu went as a bee, and that's it."

"Seems like you had a mixed bag or costumes."

"Yeah, cos we all like, live on the wild side, cos like we can."

"So wild that I'm blown away, I wish I was as cool as you."

"Yeah that happens when I'm around people; I give of that vibe of extreme coolness."

"Of course, moving on, so Pain we have all noticed that you have a lot of piercings where did they all come from?"

"Well Jeremy this is an interesting story. When Yahiko died his body was used as a path, and to transmit Nagato's chakra he needed enough receivers to pick up the chakra, so I got all these piercings. They are made of pure chakra that's why they are so black. Pretty cool right?"

"Very cool Pain, very cool! I'm gonna say it Pain your hair is awesome."

"Thanks your hair is awesome to, you know what's happening right we're flirting."

Jeremy leans in like he is going to kiss Pain "Hey dude no."

"I'm sorry I completely misread that situation."

"No probs I'm also really attractive, I send of the love me vibe to everyone I'm around."

"Well Pain what do think of my hair?"

"Well…"

"Tell me I'm pretty."

"Err."

"Do it."

"You're really pretty."

"Oh Pain you shouldn't have, but I really am, I really am, pretty." Pain looks at the audience and they agree with him. "So Pain the interview is almost over, do you have anything you would like to say?"

"Well… Sometimes I got out by myself and I look across the water, and I think about what you're doing and in my head I paint a picture…"

"Pain we asked you to say something not sing it."

"Fine! Well… In the Akatsuki we have sexy Fridays!"

Jeremy looks confused and so does the audience. "Pain everybody!"

The audience applauds and Pains walks and waves at the audience. "See you later everybody!"

"Join us next week when we interview Deidara!"


	3. Deidara

_**So may views! I'm really happy about that and I'm glad that everyone is enjoying it so far. So this one is about Deidara so who knows what we will learn about him and what will he say?**_

Akatsuki Collection – Deidara

"Today everybody we have the art-loving Deidara with us! Let's hear it!" The audience applauds as Deidara walks on to the stage and sits down next to Jeremy.

"Hmm!"

"It's good to meet you Deidara."

"Good to meet you too, hmm."

"So those are some very interesting hands, or should I say mouths."

"I know there cool, like my art. Sometimes they like to kiss each other hmm."

"Kiss each other?"

"Yeah it's like they have minds of their own. But there not the only ones who have fun, if you know what I mean? Hmm." Deidara looks at the audience with a dirty smile.

"Oh I know what you mean when you say fun with hands." Jeremy gives a dirty smile but the audience cringe. "Like you weren't all thinking it, I mean seriously hands with mouths… Oh god I just said that out loud…"

"It happens to the best of us hmm."

"Oh no… Any way while I still have a job, it says on your profile that you love art care to explain?"

"YES! I love it more the explosions! Sasori can go eat one of my exploding birds! Grr hmm."

"Seems like you have passion."

"This isn't passion this is life. Hmm."

"Obsessed much." Jeremy whispers to the crowd.

"It's way more than an obsession! Hmm!"

"But real…"

"Nup! I don't want to hear a word out of you!"

"Serious…"

"Nup your nupping!"

"Fine you! I'll move on, I hear you don't like Itachi, how do you feel about that?" "I'm starting to sound like I'm in a therapy session" Jeremy thinks to himself.

"Oh no me and Itachi are close… Ha no, no we're not. Because he is all like depressed emo and like he sits alone and drinks his tea and only talks to Kisame, Pain and Konan and I just stand there like where's my tea? I don't even like tea! Hmm!"

"You just get a bit too emotional about things, it's just tea."

"But it's just so much more, much more than just one cup of tea. Hmm."

"Alright I believe in you, we all do right?" The audience applauds.

"Oh you all! Hmm." A silence fills the room "How big?! Hmm."

"What?!"

"That's something I learnt in explosion therapy, if there is silence say something. Hmm."

"And that's what you said, you could have just said chocolate cake, or boobs, or buts, anything delicious. Yes delicious, I said delicious."

"I know but it happens. Hmm." Jeremy just stares at him for a while.

"Well oh no, any way I guess, you have quite an interesting thing on your eye, what is it?"

"It shoots lasers."

"Really?!"

"Ha no, you should of seen your face, you were all like wow! And I was like no! Hmm."

"False hope and disappointment."

"Okay I will tell you what it does, it actually helps enhance my vision so then I can make people explode and see it from far away! Hmm. Sasori actually helped me make it when I was complaining one day about Itachi and his Sharingan, he offered to give me a fake puppet eye but I didn't like the thought of my eye getting pulled out. Hmm."

"How you and Sasori must be good friends if he helped you do that."

"Yeah, I guess he is…" The audience awe.

"Well what a nice way to end the show, let's hear it for Deidara!" The audience applaud and Deidara begins to walk off.

"Bye every one! Hmm! Remember art is an explosion!"

"Join us next week when we see how Hidan does, see you next week!" The audience applaud one last time.


	4. Hidan

_**Ah this series is going pretty well! Sorry about the wait on this one but Hidan was really difficult to write for, it's just like what should I say but here it is, enjoy…**_

The Akatsuki Collection – Hidan

Hidan is talking with the stage manager a few minutes before the show "Listen Hidan, try your best not to swear too much, not everyone enjoys it as much as you." Said the stage manager.

"Why don't you try not telling me what to do!" Shouted Hidan.

The manager sighs "Go eat your fruit basket!"

"I will, and I'm going to enjoy it! I happen to love apples!" Hidan takes a bite of an apple while yelling at him, the cue goes and Hidan goes to sit next to Jeremy.

"Well hey there Hidan, how are you?" Asks Jeremy.

Hidan just stares at the stage lights "Bb-b-b-b-b-b-b…"

"Are you okay? Hidan? Seems like someone has some stage fright."

All the other Akatsuki members are sitting in the audience "Say something Hidan!" Shouts Deidara "Anything would be better than just sitting there in silence!"

"Sometimes I kiss the mirror when I'm alone." Says Hidan, all the other Akatsuki have now lost all respect for Hidan.

"Well, I hope you and your mirror live happily ever after." Says Jeremy.

"I can't believe that really just happened."

"Well it did and you will probably never be able to live it down."

"Well shit happens!"

"Nice to see that you have cheered up, now let's get this show on the road, Hidan what do you do?"

"I'm the crazy freak who swears all the time!"

"Yeah but apart from that?"

"Well… Err… Not much."

"Well I can tell this is going to be short…"

"Wait! I have something, I'm the sex appeal!"

"No Hidan, I think we all know who the sex appeal in the Akatsuki is." Jeremy looks at the other members and winks in there direction. They all blush.

"Fine, don't shit a brick about it!" Yells Hidan.

"Hidan you and your offensive comments, they crack me up!"

"But Konan does do my hair every day; it's not easy to look this good all the time."

"That's all me honey!" Shouts Konan from the audience.

"Oh Konan you're an angel!" Says Jeremy "So Hidan, have you got any hobbies?"

"Yes Jeremy I do, I love to pray Jashin pretty much all the time, and don't really do much else but pray in my spare time."

"Hidan you're not making it easy for me are you."

"Hell no and this is why I am awesome!"

"Hidan!"

"I don't even see why you're annoyed!"

"I just am Hidan, I just am. Now tell me something about yourself."

"Well I was born into a wealthy family, my parents had high hopes for me and I lived up to expectations, I was top of all the Ninjutsu and Taijutsu, but then things got ugly my farther began too loose it. I'm not sure why, but he started to lose it then my mother lost it and I was alone. I was struggling so I turned to religion in a moment of desperation, and then the Akatsuki noticed me or I noticed them and here we are now."

"Wow Hidan, I didn't expect that." Says Jeremy.

"Did you know that?" Asks Deidara to Konan.

"No I didn't, I never knew." She says.

"I guess you learn something new every day." Says Hidan.

"Well what a way to end the show, let's hear it for Hidan!"

Hidan nods at the audience and they cheer him of the stage. "Join us next week when we see Kisame!"


	5. Kisame

_**Onto to Kisame, we have reached half way! So I hope you all like the last one it wasn't easy to write, so enjoy Kisame…**_

Akatsuki Collection – Kisame

"What's a fish-man got to do to get some food around here?" Asks Kisame.

"You know you were offered a basket before you got here." Says Jeremy.

"This is like college all over again."

"You went to college?"

"Yeah, I was the only blue fish-man."

"Well that is what make you, you."

"I'm just saying it wouldn't have hurt if some of them painted themselves blue once in a while."

"I happen to prefer blue people."

"Me too! We are so alike!"

"So Kisame, what's it like being blue?"

"Well I have to tell you Jeremy it's amazing! It's like being a smurf but being ultimate bad ass at the same time! Although sometimes people mistake me for an avatar, those people don't make mistakes again."

"That's some description Kisame. But seriously being blue must have its disadvantages."

"Yes I can't share the joy of being blue." Kisame looks emotionally at the audience and the awe at him.

"I just can't get over how blue you are!"

"Dude you need to chill."

"Oh I'm chill, very chill. Any way what happens at the Akatsuki when you're around, what effect does your blueness have?"

"Well we like to get drunk like Kesha and party like Rita, because we can."

"I like to party like Rita because I was born this way like Lady Gaga."

"But we never stop loving each other like Taylor Swift and when we are together we start to Imagine Dragons."

"But what if there is Panic at the Disco? And Olly Murs becomes a Trouble Maker?"

"Then we run to a Payphone like Maroon 5 and we Never Say Never."

"I think it's starting to get creepy."

"Yeah you're right; it makes me wish I had been a Teen Idle."

"Kisame stop."

"I'm just on the Edge of Glory."

"Well it's too late to Apologize."

"So What I'm still blue and fish like!"

"Well who says that you are even that blue?" The Audience gasp.

"Fine, you're jealous that my sex is on fire." The audience give a roar of applause, Kisame has won the argument.

"Okay, okay you win. In the Akatsuki who is your favourite?" All the Akatsuki members lean in waiting to hear an answer.

"Well picking a favourite is difficult… But… it would have to be… Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!"

"Say what?"

"No there is a girl in the audience who is on fire, who looks like Katniss of the Hunger Games!"

"Hey dude I'm cool." Katniss crosses her legs and continues to watch.

"Yeah she does that a lot. So tell us." Says Jeremy.

"Well I can't pick a favourite, they are all good people."

"Well that's shi…"

"But Konan does make me fish every morning, so that gives her an advantage."

"Hell yeah!" Shouts Konan in the audience.

"Yeah we love Konan!" Says Jeremy.

"Tell me a secret!" Shouts Katniss in the Audience.

"Now she is asking the questions. But seriously tell us something we don't know."

"Well, me and Rihanna totally had a thing ages ago, she probably doesn't remember it though." Jeremy just looks at him "Fine that probably didn't happen, but this did, before I joined the Akatsuki I was planned to be a Jinchuriki I would of accepted but when I realised the plots of Madara I couldn't, but then I joined the Akatsuki who are looking for them, so when I found out I made sure that the tailed beast wouldn't be set free for Madara to take, but he is still alive in some form and I won't let him take it. I also made out with Rihanna."

"Well… that brings us to a nice conclusion; join us next time with Kakazu!" The audience applaud.

"See you later!" Shouts Kisame.


	6. Kakazu

_**This story is going very well! I'm glad it got this far :) so now it's time for Kakazu! Tell me if you want me to write for Orichimaru because he is sort of part of the Akatsuki, tell me in a review and enjoy!**_

Akatsuki Collection – Kakazu

"Come on everybody let's hear it for Kakazu!" Shouts Jeremy, Kakazu starts to walk on to stage.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! WARRGGGGGGGGGBLEEEEE!" Shouts the audience.

"This must be what evil looks like!" Shouts Jeremy. Kakazu just looks at himself. He is wearing a black suit and has a little too much white make up on, he face palms and walks of stage.__

Its two minutes before he comes back, but this time looking more normal and like himself "Is everyone okay now?" He asks.

"Why would you do that!? You looked like slender man!"

"Well I thought I would dress up for the occasion."

"I don't know what to say."

"Calm down fool and get on with the show."

"Fine. So what goes on with you around the Akatsuki?"

"I like to tickle people with my tentacles."

"You mean that you… Heheheheheeeeee" Kakazu starts to tickle Jeremy with a tentacle.

"Tee-Hee! that's toats lawls!"

"Dude you don't tickle people like that!"

"I think you'll find, I do." Kakazu winks at the crowd.

"How would you like it if I tickled you?" Says Jeremy.

"I would love it; it's been too long Jeremy, too long."

"Well I don't know, what do you like to do in your spare time? Apart from tickle people." Jeremy sighs.

"I like to paint with water colours, here's a tip, never miss an opportunity to play with something wet, and it may not come again." The crowd giggle and all the Akatsuki face palm at the same time.

"That makes me feel slightly happy, but still its cringe worthy."

"Well I also like to imitate my idol… Honey Boo Boo!" Kakazu jumps up and strike a pose like Honey Boo Boo.

"Work it Honey Boo Boo!" Shouts Deidara from the audience.

Jeremy is speechless for a few minutes and just stares at Kakazu "Let's move onto something more normal enough with Honey Boo Boo and crazy poses."

"I agree how do you feel about that Jeremy?"

"Bitch please don't try stealing my lines, or ill open a can of whoop ass on you!" The audience shouts for Jeremy.

"Damn girl you sassy!" Kakazu clicks his finger.

"Tell me something I don't know Kakazu."

"I opened my mouth and kissed a horse once."

"What!?"

"You wanted to know something; I could have said I like to watch videos of sneezing pandas."

"I would of rather you say that. But now be serious tell us something."

"Well if you wanted to know something, you should have just asked at first, jeeesurrrs!"

"Then tell me."

"Right, I bet most of you are wondering were all this tentacle thing came from. Well I put them there myself."

"How do you mean put them there "yourself"?"

"Well in my search for my immortality I needed a body that could cope, and something that can withstand is rubber and metal. So fusing these together made the ultimate kind of flexible and strong material. It took time to find someone who would change most of my body but I found someone crazy enough to do it and then it was done. It took some time to get used to it all but I managed, and here I am now with four hearts! Also Konan is trying to teach me to sew with my own tentacles."

"I taught him that!" Shouts Konan from the audience.

"Well that's a bit strange. But it's a way to end the show, join us next time for Itachi!"

Kakazu suddenly turns into slender man and walks of stage while the audience screams for him.

"YOLO!" Shouts Kakazu from back stage.


	7. Itachi

_**Getting closer and closer to the end! Isn't that nice: P Anyway here we are with Itachi, enjoy!**_

Akatsuki Collection – Itachi

"Itachi! Fabulous! Fabulous!" Shouts a cameraman in the audience "Yes! This is your new Facebook profile picture! Yes! Right now… Give me freshly fucked darling freshly fucked!" Itachi raises one eyebrow, that's his freshly fucked face. "Yesss!"

"Right that's enough with the cameras, leave him alone." Says Jeremy.

"You just don't know the meaning of being fab." The camera man flicks his hair and struts of the stage.

"That was rather strange." Says Itachi.

"Yeah sometimes we get randoms." Replies Jeremy "So now we can finally begin the interview. So as you know, you have been voted a favourite many times, what do you say about that?"

"Well you can see why, I'm fab."

"Yeah but…"

"Sharingan!" Itachi stares at Jeremy and he stops mid-sentence.

"Well I'm not sure what just happened."

"Me too, how about some tea?" Itachi begins to pour cup.

"Quick, somebody cut to the tea drinking montage!" Shouts Pain in the audience. Then everything goes black and some heavy base music begins to play and goes to the "Itachi Drinking Tea Montage" and comes back to the studio.

"Wow." Says Jeremy as he slides back into his seat "That was good." He says with a smile.

"I tend to have that effect on people try not to be too concerned." Said Itachi mysteriously.

"So Itachi you definitely have a lot of history, how has the Akatsuki affected that?"

"Well as you know I have a crazy fetish for tea, and at the Akatsuki there is always tea. Always."

"But there must be something other than te…"

"Sharingan!"

"It just happened again!"

"Yes Jeremy it did."

Itachi begins to pour another cup of tea and the audience start to go wild "I would let Itachi pour me any day of the week." Says a girl in the audience "I would pour so much tea for him!" Says another girl.

"My god Itachi people just love to see you and your tea."

"Yes you see, I'm just amazing, you'll get over it."

"I want to ask a question!" Shouts Katniss from the audience.

"Yes Katniss what would you like to ask?" Replies Itachi.

"Well…" She blushes "It's not really a question more of a statement; I would so dump Peeta and Gale for you…" She gets redder and starts to dribble slightly "I bet it's big…" She now starts to breath heavily "And beautiful…" She starts to growl slightly.

"Okay then!" Shouts Jeremy to end her growling "I think you should sit down. And maybe go to the toilet…" She then walks away to the toilet.

"So Itachi we already know a lot about you is there anything else that you would like to tell us?"

"Well Konan does my pony tail every day."

"Hell yeah!" Shouts Konan from the audience.

"Anything else Itachi?"

"It's difficult there is already so much you know… Ah! I have something you don't know it's interesting but didn't affect me personally. Of course you know Sasori who was one of the early members, working closely together, I knew he was trouble when he walked in!"

"Itachi don't shit with me!"

"Fine, but I really have nothing of interest; let's go with my extensive collection of tea cups."

"Well that's just dandy!"

"Don't hate the game, hate the player, and by the player I mean you're self."

"Did you just… Sass me?"

"I did and you can't do anything about it."

Jeremy sighs "This is like the Honey Boo Boo parade all over again, but time to end it there folks join us next week with Sasori!"

"See you later!" shouts Itachi as he walks of the stage and is applauded out.


	8. Sasori

_**Sorry about the mega wait but it's been a busy week the next one will be late as well going to be on holiday :) Any way enjoy Sasori! **_

Akatsuki Collection – Sasori

"Well here we are with Sasori!" Sasori waves at the crowd but his arm falls on the floor.

"Well then. I'll pick that up later." Says Sasori.

"Are you sure, you know arms kind of get in the way."

"Fine. Puppet Strings!" It fly's back into his sockets.

"That was awesome!"

"Yes I know I truly am, awesome that is."

"Sasori we have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"Well I think you know what we are all thinking."

"I really don't."

"Well it's about you and your puppet body."

"And what about it?"

"It's about your dong, your schlong, you get me?"

"No."

"Fine, is it still there?"

"My what!?"

"YOUR PENIS!"

"If someone just tuned into your program they would be shocked."

"Sasori I'm trying to talk about your penis here don't change the subject."

"Yes! Oh a sad story that is! Amazing as my puppet body is… Sadly it only shoots flame." The audience aww for Sasori.

"It's okay Sasori we feel for you."

"I'm touched Jeremy, but not that touched."

"Okay then moving on swiftly, who do you hate?"

"Your mum."

"Bitch! No one hates my mum, she is fab!"

"In bed."

"Bitch! You can't handle it!"

"That's what she said to me last night." The audience Oooooh.

"You have no penis." The audience Oooooh again.

"Well you're ugly."

"I think that I, Jeremy Good'n'Sexy, has won that argument!"

"Fine but… Curse you and your childrens, childrens children! May they be born with three eyes and a tail! It has been said so it shall be!"

"This shit just got real guys." Says Konan in the audience.

"It's definitely going down." Says Deidara.

"Down below the waist." Says Pain.

"Down to the underground." Says Kakazu

"That's the sound of the underground." Says Itachi.

"It's like when Honey Boo Boo got in that fight with Shanequa." Says Kisame.

"That was a bad day for Honey Boo Boo." Says Hidan.

"She didn't stand a chance against Shanequa." Says Zetsu.

"Aint nobody got time for that!" Shouts Tobi, every one stares at him and sighs.

"Katniss will resolve this!" Katniss stands up and gets her bow out and aims at Sasori and Jeremy "Bitch gonna eat!" An arrow goes straight into the side table "Crap! Err… Katniss away!" She then runs away.

"This shit just got weird." Says Sasori.

"You're right maybe we should end it here?" Says Jeremy.

"Yeah you should."

"Okay then join us next week with Zetsu! Good byee!"

"Bye!" Shouts Sasori.


	9. Zetsu

_**Sorry for the mega long wait, but I have just been so busy with LIFE! But any way here we have Zetsu enjoy! Also say if you want me to do one of Orchimaru, because I don't plan to do one unless anybody says.**_

Akatsuki Collection – Zetsu

"Everybody welcome Zetsu onto the stage!" Shouts Jeremy, He walks on and sits down next to Jeremy.

"Hi." Says Zetsu.

"I'm going to try and keep this one more normal this time let's just have a nice interview without any crazies. So Zetsu what do you at the Akatsuki?"

"I do the shuffle around the hideout."

"What's the shuffle?"

"Everybody knows the shuffle, moving but not moving at the same time, crazy shit."

"Right, anything else?"

"I also grow the drugs… I say wha?!"

"I prefer cocaine out of all of them." The audience gasp "What? A line of crack never hurt anybody."

"Jeremy I'm not sure what to say!"

"Nothing plant man, any way moving on swiftly, who is your favourite singer?"

"Lady Gaga, remember when she wore that white costume with the spikey parts on top, yeah she gets my look we have style, we have a Bad Romance." Zetsu winks at the audience.

"I see what you did there, my favourite is Taylor Swift she knew I was trouble."

"I see what you did there, I…"

"Thank you Zetsu we don't want to get into a song war now!"

"Okay…"

"So what do you do when you're sad?"

"I eat people." Zetsu licks his lips in the somewhat seductive fashion.

"Really?"

"Yes I sometimes have dinner parties with themes about eating people; my latest one was called "Lusts of the Flesh" pretty good right?"

"Considering you eat people you have great shape."

"Thank you I keep fit by doing zumba, Aiiieyiyiyiyiyiyiyiiiiiii!"

"I love your zibe…" Says Jeremy slowly and strangley.

"And I love your tie."

"Thanks… I bought it at Wal-Mart…" Still in his slow and strangle talk. "But you know what I love more than Wal-Mart… Bargain Fruit…"

"It just got weird Jeremy!"

"Yeah shit happens. I mean have you heard Miley Cyrus's new song, I wish she would stop!"

"But its Miley she just can't!"

"Oh well, she will stop eventually I tell you."

"Don't go killing Miley now."

"Next Question! Tells us something about you, something we don't know."

"Well as you know I have big history with the Akatsuki, I don't even think I have a mother or father, I believe that my sole purpose of existence is to be part of the Akatsuki. That part may be obvious just from my appearance. But I have no genetic code, which means that someone could just replicate and create genes using me so I believe I was taken from being similar to myself. A theory or the truth?"

"Well that's deep you know."

"I know I thought of that myself."

"Well then, I'm not sure what to say… Hell Yeah?!"

"Hell Yeah!" Shouts Konan in the audience. "It would be weird if I didn't say anything."

"Well let's end it there, join us next week with Tobi! Byeeeee!" Shouts Jeremy.

"Bye guys!" Shouts Zetsu.


	10. Tobi

_**Mega wait this time, sorry! Any way this is the final chapter to the story, thanks for all the views it's really appreciated, enjoy Tobi. Ps I'll call him Tobi and not Madara only in certain parts.**_

Akatsuki Collection – Tobi

"Hello to all and everyone!" Shouts Tobi.

"It's good to see you Tobi! How you been?" Asks Jeremy.

"I've been plotting to control the world and harness great power." Says Tobi in Madara voice.

"Say whaaaaaaat?"

"Err I mean, I've been colouring…?"

"Ha, haven't we all!" The audience give a cheer.

"Good… Good."

"Tobi! People have said that you are one of the stranger members of the Akatsuki, what do you say about that?"

"Not goanna lie, but they are probably all jealous; I mean have you seen this face?"

"No Tobi we haven't seen your face, you're wearing a mask."

"Jesus! I am face palm."

"I see what you did there." Tobi looks at him confused.

"Well okay… Five fingers to the face!" Tobi waves his hand in Jeremy's face.

"Whoa, we got a bad ass over here!"

"Damn straight, they used to call me some young hoe, I had to get tough, or else."

"Well you kind of are a some young hoe."

"Mate ill beat you up!"

"And then I will backhand you!"

"And then ill double poke you!"

"And then ill mash your face!"

"And then ill slap you with my two ft. dildo!"

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"Err I mean sweet nibblets."

"Who doesn't love sweet nibblets?" Says Pain in the audience, and all the Akatsuki members nod to him.

"Tobi I expected better from you." Says Jeremy.

"Err… Err! SHARINGAN!" Tobi activates his sharingan and everyone forgets the two ft. dildo.

"That was rather strange." Says Jeremy.

"It's called getting high on life." Tobi replies.

"It's happened a few times before, how weird? Any way Tobi tell us something about you, there must be something that's a big secret. Emphasis on "Big Secret."

"Well sometimes I just can't seem to get enough of you!"

"What!?"

"Would you get down on one knee for me?!"

"What!?"

"Pop that pretty question right now baby!"

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah it doesn't feel nice does it?"

Jeremy face palms "I'm not sure what to think, whether I should be slightly aroused or nervous."

"Be both, whoo!" Shouts Katniss in the audience.

"That's my line, bitch!" Shouts Konan, she then throws Sassori's arm at the back of her head. Katniss gets wheeled out "Bitch had I coming." She says finally.

"Well then" says Jeremy "as it is the last episode we should end it with something big, how about a song! I'll start." Jeremy stands up and clears his throat "No more crazy stuff, coming from the Akatsuki-eeeee-eeeee! No one suspected, we would have an injury-eeeee-eeeee!"

Tobi joins in "But we all love, to party-eeeee-eeeee!"

All the Akatsuki join in now "We're like family, but we have boundaries, unlike jer-em-y, get away from me! We're getting inter-inter-inter-viewed weekly by-by-by Jeremy, who knew-who knew- who knew what we would say, we're just trying to get paid! But now it's time to say bye for now from… Konan and Pain and Deidara and Itachi and Sassori and Zetsu and Kisame and Kakazu and Hidan and Tobi today hey!"

_**Thanks for reading!**_


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